Have you noticed, marriage rates have declined over the past several years and only a few are willing to tie the nuptial. So, if you also don’t want to get married, then the good news is you’re not alone. There is a rising breed of Generation Y in India who are resisting this social norm and are willing to stay single.
Marriage is an unwritten rule in our society, that has forced so many lives to get married even if they don’t want to. As soon as someone gets a job or enter their mid-20’s, the talks of their marriage plans keeps cropping up. The worried relatives, family and friends have endless thoughts and reasons to force one to tie the knot. Many have submitted to this pressure and some will in the near future.
There will be questions round the corner like:
Is everything okay with you?
If you will wait for long, you won’t find a good match
What about your biological clock? You won’t be able to conceive
You will die alone, if you won’t get married
In old age you need a companion
For the millennials, age is just a number and they are not in a rush until they find the “One” with whom they can spend the rest of their lives with. Gen Y born in the 1980’s and 1990’s, is the first generation who feels marriage is a choice and not a compulsion. Therefore, the rate of marriage is the lowest over the past decade, while live-in and long term relationship has increased. Here are some reasons why some people don’t want to get married:
1.Commitment phobic
There is no reason why some people put a ring on their partner after the first date, while others take years to decide whether they are ready for commitment or not. Such people have a fear of getting married, but are still committed to one person for the lifetime. They get cold feet when they think about getting married. There could be a dreadful experience in the past, which has traumatized them to the core. There is a negative image about marriage in their mind.
2. Focus on career
Career oriented people stay away from marriage as much as they can. They feel it’s a hindrance in their life, as it takes up a lot of time and personal attention. Therefore, they don’t want to waste their energy on a relationship.
3. You are not just interested
Some people are just not interested in getting married or entering into a long term relationship. The reason could be a breakup in the past or not interested in sex or a divorce in the family, etc. which has made them uninterested in marriage at all.
4. Want to get married to the right person, or else it’s not in the priority list
There are people who want to get married, but not actively looking for a partner. They are not opposed to marriage but want to marry the right person or the idea of right person they have in their mind (I really feel nothing is right or wrong, it’s always the best possible choice). So, if they will find someone who fits in their definition of love or marriage (there can never be any fixed definition – it’s an illusion), they will tie the knot or else it’s not mandatory.
5. Increase in divorce rates
The divorce rates are touching the sky. It comes along with immense financial consequences. The middle class family is more worried about the monetary loss after the divorce. Therefore, the Generation Y doesn’t want to enter into marriage. Someone’s bad experience can’t be your destiny, always remember.
6. Don’t want to take responsibility
The biggest challenge about marriage is there is a lack of responsibility. We all must have heard, that marriage comes with a huge responsibility (so as job, but still we do it with 100% effort because that gives us bread and butter). But when it comes to marriage, we start running away from it.
In co-living taking care of each other is by default be it your parents or siblings (don’t we take their care of them). So, when we live with our partner, taking each other’s responsibly becomes part of a relation. It can be about financial responsibilities or children or partner or family. Human beings, however, has a tendency to escape from responsibilities, if it’s beyond their comfort zone. But, it doesn’t mean we are not capable of, it is all in the mind.
7. Not financially stable
Sometimes money is the reason for not getting married. Not being financially stable can be a prime concern. Some people don’t earn enough to take care of the other person. Marriage involves great financial dependency and risk. Weddings are a costly affair and so is separation. Some are not even comfortable to link their income to another person. Once a person gets married there are certain expenses attached to like buying a house, having a vehicle, medical expenses of the other person, planning a family and there is no end to this. So, if the person is not earning enough, they will be reluctant to tie the nuptials.
8. Losing your freedom
Many people feel, that a marriage will take away their freedom as it comes along with a lot of expectations. They feel life will change after they get married. As they won’t be able to party like before or call friends at their house during wee hours or can’t take decisions their own etc. The fact that they will be tied to the other person for the rest of the life makes them go crazy and they lose their sanity.
9. A divorce in the past
I completely understand divorce is very painful. But one incident in the past can’t decide your future. There can be various reasons which lead to separation. Let me ask you something, you met with a car accident and was bedridden for months, will you stop driving again? Then why can’t you reconsider getting married again. Marriage comes with a plethora of good things. Yes, co-living is challenging be it with your parents or life partner so let’s not mix both the things.
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