You are dating someone. Your boyfriend or girlfriend appears to have disappeared suddenly, sometimes without any prior notice at all. No calls, texts, social media connections, or responses to any of your communications have been made. The likelihood is that your partner has not abruptly left town due to a family emergency or is not lying dead in a ditch someplace, but has instead broken off the relationship without even attempting to give you a heads-up or an explanation. Someone ghosted you.
What exactly is ghosting?
Ghosting is the practice of someone leaving a relationship abruptly and without explanation. It typically occurs in a dating setting. The phrase can also refer to any circumstance in which a person unexpectedly stops talking or showing up, such as when a friend starts ignoring your texts or when an employee simply stops showing up to work without ever formally quitting.
Ghosting warning signals
Ghosting might be a gradual process, although it is very apparent. The other person may begin by “soft ghosting,” in which they gradually cut off touch over time. Some warning indications that someone is perhaps ghosting you are as follows:
- The person who is ghosting often cancel meetings. They find it difficult to commit.
- They do not want you to meet their friends or family because they do not like to share personal information with you.
- The person who is ghosting stops posting on social media.
- They rarely answer your calls or texts.
- Your discussions with them are superficial, and they look uninterested.
- When someone ignores your repeated attempts to get in touch with them, it is quite likely that you have been ghosted.
Why do individuals “ghost”?
There are a lot of reasons why people ghost; however, the following are a few that are particularly relevant to dating:
1.They are no longer interested in the other person and have moved on.
Most often, ghosting is a sign that a person is no longer interested in continuing their relationship with the other person. They choose the simplest and most practical course of action and simply cease replying rather than telling them that up front.
2. They became overworked or worried.
The second most typical explanation for ghosting? Simply put, they are quite busy in their own lives. When someone ghosts us, it is sometimes because they are focused on other things or may be isolating themselves because they are feeling sad. We should not immediately panic because nothing is always about ourselves.
They may point out that they may actually just be too busy right now and preoccupied with other matters, such as stress at work, problems with their mental health, or other difficulties. And on occasion, a person may neglect to reply to a text right away or may want to do it later, when they have the time or the energy, but after a certain amount of time has passed, they feel as though there is no use in replying.
3. They are concerned about upsetting the other person.
People usually ghost so as not to offend the other person. The truth is that if that is your reason, ghosting them will not help: “Unfortunately, being ghosted typically causes considerably more irritation and pain than simply “I am moving on” or “We are not a good fit”.
4. They find difficult conversations uncomfortable.
Ghosting can also occur when a person is simply afraid of quitting the relationship because they find it difficult to have difficult conversations in general.
Even though it may be painful to reject someone, choosing to ghost them could actually make things worse. Being the ghoster also does not feel nice.
5. Power play, really.
A person could occasionally decide to ghost someone because they like the feeling of control it gives them over the circumstance. This might be particularly the case if the “ghoster” feels that they were wronged by the other person or if they simply believe that they are a jerk, loser, or otherwise unworthy of their attention. It might simply be an effort to make someone else feel weak in order to feel stronger.
6. They worry about their own safety.
There is only one legitimate excuse for ghosting: concern for one’s safety. Ghosting is frequently the safest breakup method. If a person is concerned that they are in a physically or emotionally unsafe circumstance. The safer course of action may seem to be to leave quietly, since the person may be afraid that the other person may strike out in response to being rejected.
7. They were never serious.
Most likely, the other person is seeking a relationship, while you are seeking a casual relationship only. Because they were never serious about the relationship, the unreliable person made the decision to disappear.
In the end,
When in doubt, consult a friend. You can also ask the person directly what is going on and whether they are still interested in working things out with you if you believe they are ghosting you. Move on if you do not hear back from them.
And keep in mind that, despite the fact that rejection hurts, ghosting nearly always has much more to do with the ghost’s problems than it does with the one being ghosted. Actually, being ghosted does not really say much about you.
What if you are the one ghosting people? Please be aware that there are much better ways to refuse someone, unless there are safety issues involved. Be courageous, considerate, and honest. Never ghost.