The term “phubbing” refers to the intentional or habitual act of “phone-snubbing” another person. With the rise in mobile usage, it has become very common. Phubbing can happen in any kind of relationship, including friendship, family, or romantic.
When spending time with friends or family, do you frequently mindlessly browse Facebook? When eating, you frequently scroll through Instagram. You frequently use social media while talking to your partner. If you regularly engage in this behaviour, you have a Phubbing habit.
Phubbing could appear innocent and even somewhat natural, but it might make you feel distant from the person you’re trying to engage in conversation with.
Your relationships with your significant others may suffer as a result. According to studies, if your partner is chatting on the phone while you are talking, that indicates that they are giving something else priority over you.
Impacts of Phubbing
Phubbing can have a negative effect on many different parts of a person’s life, especially their interpersonal interactions. Imagine you and your buddies are out, and one of them takes out their phone in the middle of a chat. What emotions were evoked by this behaviour?
Even if a “phubber” is completely unconscious of their habit, the consequences of their actions may still be detrimental. Phubbing can strain relationships, but it can also make the “phubbed” companions feel lonely, stressed out, and poorly about themselves.
1.The “phubbed” individual feels neglected and left out.
Phubbing lowers the level of communication you have with other people, creates an emotional distance between you and them, and can make other people feel rejected, irrelevant, left out, and envious.
2. Makes people angry:
It is tedious and stressful to constantly have to start and stop a discussion because someone is on their phone. This could sever a relationship between two people.
3. Bring about resentment
Someone may develop resentment towards a phubber if they constantly feel ignored when conversing with or hanging out with the phubber.
4. Reduces relationship satisfaction:
A person’s level of enjoyment in a relationship, whether platonic or romantic, can be impacted if they feel ignored by a partner.
5. Impairs one’s capacity to form relationships with others:
When communicating with someone, making eye contact is crucial because it promotes a sense of shared connection. This is disturbed by phubbing, which implies that the phubber is not interested in connecting with the other person. 2
6. An addiction
According to research, smartphones have the potential to be just as addictive as, say, gambling since they are potent mood- and mind-altering tools.
7. It’s merely impolite.
It’s plain awful cell phone etiquette to fiddle with and take out your phone at the dinner table or in the middle of a discussion. There is no need to keep your phone nearby when you are among other people, unless there is an urgent problem you need to hear about.
So, how do you stop phubbing?
1.Acknowledge
Acknowledge that you have a problem. It may not be easy since phubbing feels good to the person who is addicted to it. It could be a good idea to ask your friends and family whether you indulge in phubbing activity too regularly. Have an open mind when listening to what you’re told.
2. Communicate
Since the issue is probably not going to be simple to solve, talking to other people can be beneficial as well. Perhaps you can discuss the problem with your spouse or kids; doing so will likely increase your responsibility and willingness to change.
3. Make a plan
It is better to figure out something like making a game plan or roadmap to determine screen-free times.
4. Leave your phone behind
The temptation will probably be less if your phone or other device is not with you. Therefore, if you’re going on a date with someone you love, leave the phone in the glove box, and if you’re having family or friends around, put the phone or device in a room other than where everyone is congregating. Put yourself to the test. Create obstacles that will keep you from using your phone or other gadget.
5. Challenge yourself
If you always check your phone when you wake up first thing in the morning, try to delay when you pick it up. Perhaps you can focus instead on connecting with your partner or kids over coffee or breakfast before you turn to technology. Maybe put your phone in a desk drawer at work or leave it in your bedroom when you return home from work. How frequently should you really check your phone or other gadget while at work or at home in the evening, especially if you’re interacting with others in real time?
6. Practise active listening.
When you’re phubbing, you’re engaging in passive listening with the person or people around you as you text others, peruse social media, or surf the web. You’ll probably become a much better listener if you put away your phone or other device. It may seem simple to refrain from interrupting a conversation to criticise, judge, or correct a statement, but if you frequently indulge in phubbing activity, it may require some serious effort and patience to develop into a more engaged listener.
7. Children take note of your behaviour.
The fact that children imitate what we do is another thing to keep in mind if you’re a parent who is constantly glued to your phone. Even young children are likely to catch up on their parents’ phubbing and imitate it because more of them are acquiring cell phones at younger ages.
8. Contagious
People frequently take out their phones in response to being phubbed. This habit of phubbing spreads like wildfire. We use our cellphones in self-defence when other people do.
9. It’s altering the way we think.
Cell phones have altered the way we communicate with one another and have reduced the amount of time we may spend being creative. It is especially troubling when children use screens constantly since it changes how they handle boredom and reduces their chances of participating in imaginative and creative activities.
How to Identify whether you are a “Phubber”
While some people may be able to spot their own phubbing behaviours right away, others may be in denial or otherwise completely oblivious of their behaviour. If you frequently look at your phone during a discussion, you might be a phubber.
The following are indicators that you might be a phubber:
- You finish supper with a friend and immediately start scrolling through social media.
- When someone else is speaking, you find yourself thinking continually about checking your phone.
- You frequently use your phone in social situations.
- You must constantly check your phone in order to carry on a conversation.
- When you’re among other people, you never answer the phone instead of screening calls.
- At social gatherings, you frequently upload photos of your food or beverages.
The Best Ways to Handle Phubbing in a Relationship
It can be really frustrating to get phubbed. Given that anyone might become a phubber at some point, it might be simpler to overlook it in a friend or spouse if you aren’t frequently the victim of phubbing. However, there are methods you may use to deal with it if you see that this occurs frequently in your relationships.
Here are a few strategies for handling phubbing in your relationships:
1.Point Out the behaviour.
Being open and honest about the phubbing may be useful, depending on the nature of your relationship. Occasionally, when their behaviour is called out, people are unwittingly phubbing and amenable to being redirected. It’s crucial to be polite while criticising someone for their phubbing behaviour. Start by politely bringing it up by noting, “You seem distracted.”
2. Be Compassionate
When dealing with phubbing in a relationship, try to maintain an open mind and empathy. A phubber normally doesn’t act in this way out of rudeness and is likely open to hearing your side of the story. Someone who has social anxiety disorder may frequently phubb when in a group environment if you date or are in a relationship with them. If so, try to imagine yourself in their position rather than getting angry. Then, when the two of you are by yourselves, you can talk about the behaviours.
3. No phones should be used while talking.
Overusing social media can have a negative impact on relationships, especially if it causes disagreements or reduces the amount of quality time spent with loved ones. Setting “no phone zones,” such as the bedroom or the dinner table, can help highlight the value of your relationship.
4. Talking While Being Phubbed: Wait
Simply stop talking when you notice your spouse is listening carefully to their phone during a chat. This can cause them to turn back to you, so you can warn them about their actions.
5. When phubbing becomes unbearable, leave the room.
It is occasionally appropriate to leave a situation if you are being completely ignored, like in the case of stonewalling, or if you have previously made an attempt to divert someone’s attention. By taking this step to distance yourself from the situation, you can return to it later and calmly discuss how to curb the phubber’s behavior.
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