Have you ever been in love? Or Have you ever had a heartbreak? I am not talking about casual relationships or one night stands. I am talking about love which has made you cry at some point of time or made you feel complete and stable.
We all must have gone through that feeling at least once; from an introvert to an extrovert or someone who doesn’t believe in love or someone who has been in love many times.
HOW WAS THE FEELING? We can’t express in words. IT’S THE BEST FEELING ON PLANET EARTH. LOVE is a mix emotion the person feels sad and happy at the same time. Sometimes it makes us weak, sometimes strong. Love is the most beautiful feeling ever. But why does it fall apart?
I want to talk about the mistakes we make in love and hence the relationship spoils which lead to heartbreak:
1. Lack of TRUST is the most essential reason behind heartbreak:
If you don’t trust your partner, you don’t truly love. Every relationship is built on a foundation of trust and faith. People who are not secured in their life, they have trust issues. A lack of trust in a relationship can be very destructive. It’s a sign of a weakness in a relationship. Checking each other’s phone, mails suspiciously also shows the lack of credence on each other. The only solution is to identify your fear and talk about it, don’t be so negative. Being open about the situation, will resolve the problems and will improve the relationships.
2. Not spending quality time:
You remember when you started dating each other how much you use to laugh or spend quality time with each other. Cracking jokes, being funny seems to be history. We behave as if our relationship has reached its expiration date? Guys chill, problems will come and go, why to bury your laughter as if everything is over. Laughter fades all the pains. It is also good for a healthy relationship.
3. Don’t ACCEPT THEM THE WAY THEY ARE:
Oh yeah….. How can we accept the other person the way he/she is because we live in our ideologies, beliefs, thoughts? We feel our way is the perfect way. When we don’t accept the other person the way they are, it is a state where we want to change the other person which is disrespectful itself for him/her. Respect others opinion, don’t force them to change or tell them how they should act. Why did you enter in a relationship at the first go if you had to treat the person like a puppet trying to manipulate them as per your convenience?
4. Too many Expectations is one of the reason behind heartbreak:
I really feel the word Love should be changed to Expectations. Today love is only about expectations from each other; what the other person is doing for you, what he/she is suppose to do for you and how he/she should act every time and the list goes on. We live in a shell of our thoughts and when we start dating someone we want that person to live in the same manner as well.
We want them to agree with us in every matter, we also want them to fit in our idea of how to live or behave. I just want to ask one thing, is it love or control? Once we come in a relationship we presume that it is our right to control our partner and we justify this silly act as care. There are few basic things which are mandatory for a relationship like: Respect, Compassion, Time, Affection, Care & Concern, Honesty and Communication.
We tend to expect a lot of things from our parents, kids or friends and if it doesn’t happen our way we get upset and we are upset all the time about something or the other. Even if a stranger won’t act the way we want them to this makes us lose our temper. Stop expecting people to agree with you or respect you the way you want them to. Blessed are those who don’t have expectations from anyone.
5. Too much dependency can result in heartbreak:
Excess of everything is bad then why too much dependency on your partner be it emotional or financial or doing everything together. I am a person who would love to go shopping with my partner, holidaying, buying groceries and meeting friends together. But this doesn’t mean if he is not around I won’t do my task or I won’t go to a doctor alone because I want to be like a clingy baby and hang on his shoulder and he will carry me everywhere. As a person also I feel one should be self sufficient and be prepared for every situation. Even our happiness should not depend on the other person. We are self sufficient.
6. Anger bouts:
This is the best as we suffer from a disease called anger and keep on throwing it on our partner. Anything happens somewhere else our partner has to take the thrash. Everyone has their own triggers for what makes them angry you have no right to throw it on the other person. Control it for the sake of your relationship. Anger can be cause of mood swing, anxiety, depression, hurt or lack of sleep, whatever the reason speak about it in a normal manner and because few seconds of anger can take a lifetime of a relationship. So you have to decide what you value the most your partner or your illogical irritability.
7. BLAME GAME:
A blame culture is common everywhere these days. It is the easiest way to escape from a situation, just blame the other person. When we blame people we are shrugging from our responsibility and not taking the ownership of the situation. Sometimes people get panic when they lose the control of a situation and then by blaming others they want to be free from the guilt of the failure. We just don’t control people; we even blame our circumstances for our current situation. Can we be sensible enough to take charge of the failure? Once we take the ownership we can change our situation by acting upon it, blaming will only worsen the matter and this will only result in heartbreak.
8. Lack of Appreciation can lead to heartbreak:
Appreciation is very important in a relationship and highly neglected when people start staying together. We take each other for granted and feel they are suppose to do certain things for them. We do take our parents for granted thinking it’s their duty to take care of us. Have we ever appreciated their efforts? Even your partner’s effort for giving you that comfort or doing certain things to make u feel better or for the morning tea they have made for you. Show your gratitude, saying thanks for the little things they have done. It will also make them feel special. Try it once.
9. Don’t inspire each other anymore:
When we adjust with our circumstances and don’t inspire each other to grow in life, somewhere down the line the relationship gets monotonous and boring because there are no new goals or achievements to talk about. We all need support and when it comes from our partner it gives us a lot of strength. The impact is also very positive on the relationship.