On many occasions, I would keep evading several things, I would just can’t say no to people. Either for any work they want me to do or if they ask for my opinion. Infact, I will wriggle out by saying I will do it later or I am not well (even if I just came home after running a marathon) or it looks fine (even if i loathe it) or simply say yes and keep regretting forever. But, I just never had guts to say no to people. I was a box full of excuses. It was just like sweeping something under the carpet as if it will never emerge again.
There were lot of inhibitions and restrictions deep down my heart. I also wanted to tell people on their face. that I will not accept yelling or cuss words, but I couldn’t. I remember once my boss was misbehaving with a low grade staff but I couldn’t stop her because I didn’t want her to think bad about me or screw me later. In another instance I was piled up with a lot of work but still couldn’t say no to a friend who wanted me to join her for shopping, let’s say a boss wanted you to stay back late for not so important work and you have to watch a cricket match final; similar instances keep happening in our day to day life. “Can’t say No” was the big bottle neck of my life.
Doing unwanted things
Like this I have done many things which I didn’t want to do, not pouring my heart out, not saying no when I wanted to, letting people take advantage of me ( the one who were fooling me), not telling people to stop if they misbehaved. I don’t know if you can relate with me or not but I just couldn’t utter things which were in my heart and will regret afterwards. I kept adding them in my bucket list of sorrows and resentments.
I was prevented by some force which stopped me from being myself or act in a particular manner. Finally, I got this answer after several years. It was not an inhibition; I was suffering from a disease called “LOOKING GOOD ALWAYS “not just in the matters of appearance but as a person.
Look Good Factor
Yes, you heard me write “LOOK GOOD FACTOR”. When we can’t say no to someone we want to look good, when we can’t tell people I won’t accept this we want to look good, when we can’t tell people they are misbehaving we want to look good. Many of us are constantly bothered by what others think of us. Saying yes all the time is like inviting trouble to your own self. Love yourself, think of yourself first and then consider the other person. You are special. You are unique. When we say No to someone, it doesn’t mean we are rude or disrespecting them. It only implies our choices and opinions. But, the fact remains “ना सुनना किसी को नहीं अच्छा लगता”, they will consider you rude only.
Everyone has 3 people in their world:
- The way the world sees you
- Who you really are
What others think of you is not your business?
We live in our own perception rather than facing the reality. Your wisdom will come from your experience and knowledge. Once you start being real, people will start accepting you the way you are. If you don’t like something say it, if you don’t want to do something say it normally, one does not need to be rude. Just be yourself. You don’t need someone else to decide whether you are good or not. The truth is people really don’t even care. They will judge you anyways. Let your personality shine. Sooner you will realize the path you have chosen now will only strengthen your relationships or will take away the fake ones. So stop this LOOK GOOD THING. Just SAY IT…..