On many occasions, I would keep evading several things. I just can’t say no to people, either for any work they want me to do or if they ask for my opinion. In fact, I will wriggle out by saying I will do it later or I am not well (even if I just came home after running a marathon) or it looks fine (even if I loathe it) or simply say yes and keep regretting forever. But, I just never had the guts to say no to people. I was a box full of excuses. It was just like sweeping something under the carpet as if it would never emerge again.
There were a lot of inhibitions and restrictions deep in my heart. I also wanted to tell people directly that I will not tolerate yelling or cussing, but I couldn’t. I remember once my boss was misbehaving with a low-grade staff member, but I couldn’t stop her because I didn’t want her to think bad about me or screw me later. I will continue to question myself why I can’t say no.
Another time, I had a tons of work to do but could not refuse a friend’s invitation to go shopping with her despite my overwhelming workload. Let’s say your boss wanted you to stay back late for some not-so-important work and you had to watch a cricket match final; similar instances keep happening in our day-to-day life. “Can’t say No” was the big bottleneck of my life.
When you can’t say no, you end up doing undesirable things.
Like this, I have done many things which I didn’t want to do; like not pouring my heart out, not saying no when I wanted to, letting people take advantage of me ( the ones who were fooling me), not telling people to stop if they misbehaved. I don’t know if you can relate to me or not, but I just couldn’t utter things that were in my heart and that I would regret afterwards. I kept adding them to my bucket list of sorrows and resentments. My biggest issue was that despite numerous bad things that had occurred to me, I simply can’t say no.
I was prevented by some force which stopped me from being myself or acting in a particular manner. Finally, I got this answer after several years. It was not an inhibition; I was suffering from a disease called “LOOKING GOOD ALWAYS,” not just in matters of appearance but as a person.
When you can’t say no, you just want to look good in front of other people.
Yes, you heard me write “LOOK GOOD FACTOR”. When we can’t say no to someone, we want to look good. When we can’t tell people I won’t accept this, we want to look good. When we can’t tell people they are misbehaving, we want to look good. Many of us are constantly bothered by what others think of us. Saying yes all the time invites trouble into your life.
Love yourself, think of yourself first and then consider the other person. You are special. You are unique. When we say no to someone, it doesn’t mean we are rude or disrespecting them. It only implies our choices and opinions. However, the fact remains that, they will only consider you rude.
Everyone has three people in their world:
- You
- The way the world sees you
- Who are you really?
What others think of you is not your business.
Rather than confronting reality, we live in our own perception. Your wisdom will come from your experience and knowledge. Once you start being real, people will start accepting you the way you are. If you don’t like something, say it. If you don’t want to do something, say it normally. One does not need to be rude. Just be yourself. You don’t need someone else to decide whether you are good or not.
The truth is that people really don’t even care. They will judge you anyway. Let your personality shine. Sooner or later, you will realize the path you have chosen now will only strengthen your relationships or will take away the fake ones. So stop this “look good” thing. Just say it…..
So next time you can’t say no to any damn thing, always remember that you are only screwing your inner peace.
Leave a Reply